It will be a week of "lasts" and today was only the beginning. Last Sunday in Canada. Last family gathering before we leave. Tears in the morning and prayers of blessings. Tears in the evening and more prayers of blessings. I wish everyone had the chance to be prayed over by a church community, by two sets of parents, by siblings, by friends. They bless us in our going despite the pain.
In the last 18 years of my life, I have said goodbye 7 times. This will be the 8th. You would think this would get easier. It doesn't. It gets harder. And I know that is is a good thing.
It means we have loved deeply. And what I fear more than tears, is a hardened heart. A heart that will not allow others close to it. A heart that says it is too hard to love.
So I will love. I will cry. I will sorrow for my children who say goodbye but don't really understand how much will change while they are gone. I rejoice. These cousins, these kindred friends have given a gift to our children. They have given the gift of love. And they will still be ready to love when we return.
I cry for myself and for you. It's not just about me. It's about us. Kindred friends. Kindred sisters. Kindred parents. For friendships so deep that my heart feels like it is being ripped from my body when I give that last hug. And I know. It is doing the same for you. And I am sorry for the pain that I cause by saying goodbye. And I rejoice. For our friendship will remain. When I see you again, it won't take us long to pick up right where we last ended.
And most of you aren't the greatest long distance communicators. I want you to know that it's okay. Neither am I. You might get to like some shallow facebook updates and I will like yours. But I know. There is so much more. And you'll get to hear how I am feeling through a blog that strangers are reading. But know that I am writing for you.
Blessings and tears. They will be many this week. But when I board that plane, I will be counting my blessings and I will wipe away those tears. Because I know. And you know. It is all worth it. For Jesus.
In the last 18 years of my life, I have said goodbye 7 times. This will be the 8th. You would think this would get easier. It doesn't. It gets harder. And I know that is is a good thing.
It means we have loved deeply. And what I fear more than tears, is a hardened heart. A heart that will not allow others close to it. A heart that says it is too hard to love.
So I will love. I will cry. I will sorrow for my children who say goodbye but don't really understand how much will change while they are gone. I rejoice. These cousins, these kindred friends have given a gift to our children. They have given the gift of love. And they will still be ready to love when we return.
I cry for myself and for you. It's not just about me. It's about us. Kindred friends. Kindred sisters. Kindred parents. For friendships so deep that my heart feels like it is being ripped from my body when I give that last hug. And I know. It is doing the same for you. And I am sorry for the pain that I cause by saying goodbye. And I rejoice. For our friendship will remain. When I see you again, it won't take us long to pick up right where we last ended.
And most of you aren't the greatest long distance communicators. I want you to know that it's okay. Neither am I. You might get to like some shallow facebook updates and I will like yours. But I know. There is so much more. And you'll get to hear how I am feeling through a blog that strangers are reading. But know that I am writing for you.
Blessings and tears. They will be many this week. But when I board that plane, I will be counting my blessings and I will wipe away those tears. Because I know. And you know. It is all worth it. For Jesus.
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