Part 2: RE-ENTRY. Rules & Regulations : Physical & Social

There are many rules and regulations in the foreign country one enters and many challenges a missionary faces to function there.  But, one doesn't generally spend much time thinking about how one's home country's rules and regulations look to foreigners or missionaries re-entering the country.

It is often a rather overwhelming experience to find what is needed to function on a basic level (atleast in our situation).  Renewing an expired driver's license can take several trips to the local Autopac as ID, bank statements or hydro bills are needed to prove our residency.  Cell phones need to be set up, carseats found and installed for children 8 and under, two pairs of shoes (indoor and outdoor) for children entering public school and a way to pay for set up costs.

We left a country where we carry literal stacks of cash in order to go grocery shopping.  Now we place our debit/credit cards back in our wallets (and if they are expired renew them as quickly as possible) and attempt to remember all the pin numbers stored in the recesses of our minds.

Once my husband and I are mobile (can both drive), can communicate (have a working cell phone) and can pay (have the use of our credit/debit cards), we are officially able to externally function in our home country.  So when you see missionaries floundering that first week or two after arriving, it may be they are still trying to get themselves organized enough to function physically.  

After that....comes the social re-entry.  Like the first time one enters a subway and awkwardly gapes at all the choices, flounders at all the questions and wonders if anyone notices their embarrassment.  Like the first time one uses a debit card forgetting the pin card and then realizes the other cards in hand are either expired or in her husband's name.  Like the first time, one is asked how it is to be back in Canada and you pause unsure of how to answer that.  Is that just a greeting or does that person actually want to hear? The easy answer is, "It's great to be back." 

The fact is, after some initial work, we can easily fit back into the external rules and regulations but socially it will take more time.  Somedays, we can just embrace it and immerse ourselves back into your lives but other times: our Gesses home, the villages, the people flash into our minds and we wonder, "Who are we in this place? What is our role?"  We leave a place of intense ministry to a place where we now depend on others until we unpack our bags, hearts and minds.

It takes time to enter a new society but it also takes time to re-enter a known society.   Re-entry is like a hesitant's child's first day back at school, a student entering college for the first time.  It's like leaving Middle school and entering High school.  It's like changing companies or churches.  It's like going to a banquet unsure of which fork to use.  It's familiar and yet foreign.

Anticipation mixed with some fear.  Yet when you look back we wonder:  why was that experience so difficult.  I could have made it a whole lot easier.  But we can't.

The rules have changed.  The language has changed.  The climate and environment has changed.  Our kids need shoes to enter most places.  Cutlery is used most of the time.  Clean water can usually be used from the tap.  Toilets do flush.  Schedules are important.  

So when you see a missionary family floundering at one moment and engaged at another moment, don't be surprised.  We are like salmon migrating back to our hatching grounds.  Internally we know the way but the journey is sometimes long and difficult and there may be diversions along the way.  

Re-entry takes time.  Laugh with us.  Cry with us.  Listen to our hearts and share yours also.  In the end, it's not understanding how to follow the rules and regulations, schedules and social etiquette that make this home for us; it's you.

Reflections on 2 worlds: Part 1: A speedy Re-entry

 This has been the quickest and most abrupt re-entry that I have ever experienced in 20 years. Living in rural Ethiopia among the poorest in the country requires several points of re-entry along the way. Our 12 hour drive from Gesses to Addis is one of them. Disconnecting from village life as we travel through villages and towns before arriving in city society. Our time in Addis and Toronto where we connect with fellow missionaries gives us time. Time to wash the dirt off our feet and the stress from our faces. Time to socialize with other missionaries which prepares us to speak in more formal settings in North America. Time to re-enter Canadian culture slowly and intentionally.

But here we were travelling at 100km/hr from the Winnipeg airport to our small town in Manitoba. Here we were after 10 hours of challenging road travel and 30 hours of air travel, driving on smooth, empty roads. My eldest daughter said: “I still feel like I am in Ethiopia but I am in grandma's car.” Exactly. Physically we were here but emotionally we hadn't arrived.

Then within 36 hours of arriving, we were attending the funeral of my grandmother, interacting with large numbers of people, singing, sharing memories, crying and laughing together, watching my grandma's casket lowered into the ground, eating pickles and cheese, fresh buns and sliced ham. Familiar and yet so foreign. Emotionally still in both worlds.

Pictures flashed in my mind: weeping with Gumuz neighbours, watching a body wrapped in a white cloth and lowered into a freshly dug narrow grave, eating goat meat, sipping a fermented sorghum drink, sharing words of hope to those who mourn without hope.

God's grace. By God's grace we were able to engage emotionally and physically into the celebration of my grandma's life. We cried, remembered and sang. For this weekend, we were here: heart, body and soul. Re-entry experiences were happening too quickly to process but that could wait for later.

Tribute to my Grandma - Tina Loewen, (Mrs. Cornie B. Loewen)

          My Grandma. Gardener, Storyteller, Prayer Warrior and Missionary

     (This tribute was written for our family service held the morning of the funeral.) 

"You have fought the good fight. You have finished the race. You have kept the faith." 

2 Timothy 4:7

Farewell Grandma. You have impacted me in so many ways. Gardening consultant, storyteller, prayer warrior, missions advisor. You taught me how to begin sowing indoors in order to raise abundant crops of tomatoes, cucumbers and green peppers necessary for salsa and pickling. Your tomatoes were always the first to ripen and the most productive of anyone I knew.

I never left your house without receiving gardening, medical and spiritual advice. I am still utterly amazed at your wide range of knowledge, your boldness in sharing the gospel and your faithful prayer life.

I was intrigued by your stories of adventure and miracles from your years of missionary work in Mexico. Who will forget your tales of those that came to the clinic with knife and gunshot wounds, miraculous births and your waiting for grandpa to return after fording the river to save someone's life? Grandma, you knew the hardship of missionary life and you warned me of the challenges I would one day face. You were my inspiration. You taught me the power of a story and the power of prayer. You taught me the beautiful balance of feeding the body and the soul; physically helping those in need but teaching that true healing comes through salvation.

Grandma, you never chose the painful parts in your life – losing your husband, your soul-mate, 21 years ago, 2 hip surgeries, minor stroke, and various aches and pains. Yet you chose to persevere and believed that God still had a purpose for your life. Prayer. Each and every one of your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren have been prayed for 1000s of times by name. Grandma, you passed on a legacy of faith.

When I read the Bible, I cannot help but see your life and your character reflected in these lives.

Eve – She was placed with Adam, her soul-mate, in the garden of Eden to care for it. Grandma, you remind me of Eve. You cared for your garden, making it a place of wonder and beauty. I have so many memories of walking with you through your garden and giving me gardening advice.

Sarah – She was the wife of Abraham who was called to leave her home country and go to a new land that God would show to her. She was the mother of nations. The matriarch of Israel. Grandma, you remind me of Sarah. You faithfully followed grandpa to Mexico and served in the land God brought you to. You set an example of faithfulness and perseverance. You have been the matriarch of our Loewen clan.

The Midwives of the Israelites in Egypt. They saved babies lives by putting their trust in God. Grandma, you remind me of the midwives because you poured your life into helping the Mexican women deliver their babies. I remember many stories that you told of babies born safely not by your skill but by the power of God.

Deborah – She was a judge and prophet of Israel, counselor and warrior. She was a strong independent married woman. Grandma, you remind me of Deborah for obvious reasons. Your strength and wisdom seem unmatched and you have given each of us countless counsel for our lives.

Proverbs 31 woman -

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. she provides food for her family
16 She considers a field and buys it; 

17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 

20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

You are a proverbs 31 woman, grandma.

Anna, a widow for most of her life, who spent her days praying and fasting. Grandma. you remind me of Anna. You were a widow for 21 years and your calling in life – especially these last years - was prayer. Grandma, you have prayed without ceasing for your family, for our safety and our salvation. For 20 years you have covered me in prayer in Ethiopia.

You are both a Martha who has hosted and worked without rest and a Mary, who has sat at the feet of Jesus – listening to His words and calling Him Lord.

Paul. Grandma, you remind me of Paul. He was passionate for the gospel. Highly controversial and spoke out against false teachers. He had strong opinions that often got him into a lot of trouble. Grandma, you were never afraid to state your opinions but you always reprimanded in love.

Grandma, you understood me. You were my inspiration, my personal prayer warrior and enthusiastic supporter. I sat at your feet so many times listening to your stories, hearing your laughter and seeing that twinkle in your eye. Who will pray for me like you grandma? I still have so many questions to ask, so many stories to hear, so much advice to receive.

I cannot imagine life without you but I see you running, climbing trees, picking the fruit from a dozen trees, tending a garden, walking the streets of gold, admiring birds, grasping grandpa's hand, telling stories, sitting at the feet of Jesus, eyes sparkling, praising God. How can I wish you back even for a moment? Grandma I love you. Thank you for fanning the flame in each of us and leaving us with a legacy so few on earth can boast of.

A MIRACULOUS JOURNEY HOME

 

I thought I would write up the details of our journey home for that is what it was.  It is a physical, emotional and spiritual journey at the best of times and added to this was the deep loss that comes with losing a loved one.   

Here are the 8 miracles that made it possible for us to arrive home. It wasn't vital that we attend my grandma's funeral but it was such a blessing. It was truly a gift to be with 62 out of 66 of the closest relatives. For when will we all gather together again? It was truly a gift to say goodbye to my grandma at her funeral and share a tribute to her. It was a gift to share this time of remembering and loving and mourning with my parents and my relative. It was a gift to sing with my siblings and cousins.  These are irreplaceable memories that I can treasure in my heart because of your prayers.

Miracle #1 International network was working.   I received a play by play update on my grandma's sudden illness and death. During those brief 40 hours, we had network for all but 4 hours. I heard the news only 2 hours after my grandma died. For those living in remote locations or in places where cell coverage is sporadic, you will understand the true miracle that this is.

Miracle #2 Rebooking.  There was only one flight that would allow us to arrive in time for my grandma's funeral.  The very next day, all 7 of us were rebooked internationally for a flight 3 days later to Toronto, using the same tickets we had purchased previously.  

Miracle #3 Leaving Gesses. We had planned to leave on Wednesday, May 6^th in order to spend a week in Addis and then a week in Toronto before beginning our home assignment in Manitoba. The Lord gave us strength to put in 18 hour days that weekend so we could leave Tuesday, one day early.

Miracle #4 Rain. We needed rain before leaving Gesses for 4 months so that Rolf could complete the task of preparing the water system for 3 houses. Saturday night and Sunday morning, it poured. This allowed Rolf to clean all the roof tops and the water tanks and begin filling them.

Miracle #5 Safety in travel to Addis.  The journey involves travelling at great risk (24 hours before an international flight) for if an injury occurs on the way, my husband will be left behind to deal with the redtape.  The roads are highly populated by animals and people and one has to dodge them almost constantly during the 10 hour drive.  It is always a miracle to arrive in Addis Ababa safely. 

Miracle #6 Completion of Addis events in 1 day. We were able to say goodbye to two families that are leaving Ethiopia this June. We were able to repack all our goods and preparing them for our international flight.  Considering the exhaustion with which we arrived in Addis, it was a true miracle of God's strength to our bodies and minds.

Miracle #7 Completion of our Ethiopian Airline flight.  As we began crossing the Mediterranean Sea half an hour behind schedule, an announcement was made requesting medical personnel. Half an hour later, the nurse aboard requested an emergency landing. We turned around and landed in Cairo so that the passenger could be admitted to the hospital.  1.5 hours later we resumed our journey and headed to Rome for refueling. 

Upon our arrival, it was announced that the airport was closed due to one of their terminals burning. They made an exception in safety regulations and allowed us to disembark so that the plane could be refueled (without the usual firefighters) and we could continue our journey. 1.5 hours later we were on our way.

We arrived in Toronto 3.5 hours late with most of us missing our connecting flights but we had arrived on Canadian soil and it was truly a miracle.

Miracle #8   Rebooking our Toronto-Winnipeg flight for 7 of us. We had missed our connecting flights, our files were a mess, the afternoon flights were entirely booked and they said it would be impossible for us to all fly on the 7pm flight. 

We knew over 100 people were praying us home. We were exhausted and needed to get a night's rest. Miraculously they were able to get all 7 of us on the flight. The 7 hour wait seemed to go quickly as we went through customs, prayed through our rebookings, ate lunch at Subway, went through security and then boarded our last flight.

8 miracles and we were back in Manitoba... together, with all our luggage and ready for a night's rest. God's hand was on our family all the way. Not only had we finished all the necessary tasks before leaving Gesses behind for 4 months but we had travelled well.

Our children travelled without complaint, finding ways to curl up and rest. We met people along the way to encourage and be encouraged by. Although it was not an easy journey, it was good.

A CHRISTIAN GUMUZ RESPONSE TO MY LOSS

 

                                                 (written beg of May)

Last Sunday morning, more than 20 Gumuz women came to my door after church having heard that my grandma died. A week previously I had been at 2 funerals for young children. As I sat with them and wept, I heard my own words of encouragement repeated back to me. “Do not cry. Remember the hope that we have because of Jesus. We do not need to be afraid of death. Your grandma is in heaven. You will see her again.” 

 Then one by one, starting with an elderly woman named Yake, they pressed money into my hand, embraced me and wept openly for me. It was beautiful and painful, humbling and healing. Yake was heart broken. My grandma was the one who had sent money for milk powder for her orphaned grandson. His life had been saved.

As we cried together and then drank coffee, I boasted of the heritage that I have because my grandparents repented of sin, and followed Christ. These Gumuz first generation Christians have a hard road as they turn from cultural evils. Yet as they do this, the next generation will not have the same struggle. They can make a difference for generations to come just as my grandparents did so long ago.

A double Christian wedding: Vaseline and rare beef to go

     The participants: Gesses groom (B) and Gilgil bride, Gesses bride (D) and Gilgil groom.

     Gumuz weddings are complex. They always involve planning a double wedding. In an ideal but rare situation, two brothers of similiar age from different clans exchange adolescent sisters. But it is rare for both girls to be older than 14.
     The first believers in Gesses were determined to marry off their oldest son and daughter to believers. After numerous discussions, the brother agreed to wait for marriage until his sister had completed grade 8. By this time, B was past 20 and his sister was 16 years old. It was time for the relatives to find a suitable family to marry into. The right clan, the right age, some education and followers of Jesus!
     It would take several months before an appropriate brother and sister were selected and that match took place in prison. The couples met once or twice before the wedding and all agreed to the marriages.

DAY ONE: D's wedding

     We were welcome to join in the festivities for as long as we could handle. The wedding festivities go on for a week. On day one, the Gilgil groom arrived in Gesses and singing ensued for most of the night. The next morning, two quick shelters were erected for guests and dozens of 20L jerricans of keya (fermented grain drink) were brought by relatives into the home of the mother of the Gesses bride.
     D and her new husband were eventually seated in her parents hut with her protector (husband's best man) on one side and her brother beside her groom. Her protector's job, equivalent to the maid of honor role, was strangely cosy. They all seemed quite pleased and almost comfortable (not something I have observed in any previous Ethiopian wedding). The groom even put his arm around D for a photograph.
     The mother of the bride was weeping on and off throughout the day which surprised me as emotions are so rarely shown. As I spoke words of comfort to her, tears trickled down her cheeks. She was losing her first daughter. Oh she would come and visit from time to time but it would never be the same. Her eldest daughter who had worked side by side with her for many years had carried an equal workload to her mother.
     As the couple was led into the mother's hut, her tears turned to anger. The mother of the bride (a dear friend of mine) began shouting as the very private ceremony was about to commence. I feared she was about to break up the wedding but her request (stated loudly) was this: “They must be washed.” I was sure my Gumuz language was failing at me for they were well washed well and dressed in style.
     Community elders were called in to discuss this dilemna and (against the desire of the couple), the traditional “body washing” took place. The protector, bride and groom's arms, legs and faces were washed with a great deal of soap and then smothered in scented vaseline.
     We were among about 30 others seated or standing in the hut but for the next 1/2 hour women visited the bride adding more scented vaseline and sticking small bills of money to her forehead. The protector would then collect the money. Those in attendance (including us) were vaselined (yes it is now a verb) and sprayed with cheap perfume. The bride and groom and protector, now dripping with vaseline, were ready to be married.
     A slightly inebriated uncle (in place of the father who was in prison) sat on a log in front of the seated couple. He began a short and rough speech with an interrogative style. “Do you agree to marry this man? To make him food and give him children?” 
     Her whispered yes was not suitable and so his voice grew louder and the question was repeated until he was nearly shouting. I was glad to know that this bride was actually in agreement with this marriage. I am sure that many others have been forced into submission.
     He then spoke to the groom and asked if he would love his wife to which he quickly and firmly stated yes. A few more instructions about how to live peacefully and they were officially married. It was both strange and familiar.
     Since Rolf was not in the nearby vicinity, I asked if I could speak some words. I spoke about this couple's commitment to Christ and their desire to serve them. I encouraged the couple in their faith and in their marriage and then the bride's other brother, laid hands on them and prayed for them. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. The first couple in Gesses to be equally yoked. A couple committed to raising children for the Lord. “Oh Father, may there be many more believing parents who choose to arrange Christian marriages for their children. And may these families multiply and fill these hills with peace.”
     There were several more hours of festivities, mostly involving guests drinking keya and groups of men and women running up and down the road singing cultural wedding songs mixed with Christian songs.
     We returned home and late afternoon Rolf packed the landcruiser with about 18 passengers to take the Gesses groom to the village where his bride was waiting. D, her new husband and friends caught a bus to the same village where she would complete her wedding festivities with her in-laws.
     Rolf and his 18 passengers sang gospel songs, honking the horn through all the villages on the way. He decided not to spend the night in the village 20km away but would rather return the next day to bring the Gesses groom and his new wife and their guests back here.
Meanwhile D was received by her inlaws and the celebration continued. Several goats were
slaughtered and dancing continued throughout the night.

DAY 2: B's bride comes

     After a morning of festivities and ceremonies in the other village, Rolf was called to return to pick up the party. The car was decorated with leafy branches and the 18 passengers hung out windows singing while Rolf sounded out a beat on the horn. They made their way through villages, the groom threw out candy to the children and women ran up and handed him money.
     We briefly went up to greet the couple upon their arrival, drank some keya and returned home. Later that evening, the bride and groom were led to their 8 square foot circular hut with much singing and dancing.

DAY 3: The slaughtering of the cow

     The children and I returned to our school routine but joined in more festivities that afternoon. The bull had been slaughtered and was being cut up and distributed. Gumuz love their meat raw and since Rolf and Joel are watching them slaughter the animal, they get the most delectable parts: the liver and other tender parts. While the small group of men relished their very rare and tender steaks, Rolf inquired,
     “What about the groom? Doesn't he get some choice pieces of meat?”
     They replied with grins on their faces, “He got a woman, what does he need meat for.” After melt in your mouth sirloin, they make their get-away.
     Meanwhile I have the honor of eating the only part of the bull that is cooked: the innards. Those are cleaned and then thrown into a large clay pot and cooked in blood. Delicious ... for some.
     I am quick to send out invitations for others to join me. “Come, come, join me. Please eat. Enjoy. It is good but it is too much for me.” I invite whoever is near enough to hear and respond. 
     Eventually my charm wears them down. It is always a gift to have a child or two sitting close enough that I can hand a treat or two off to the big brown eyes eyeing these chewy delicacies. 
     The plate is empty. I make my leave before anything more is added to my plate and
return home with a chunk of liver and beef and the requested bull's eyeball! 

DAY 4-7 Leftovers

     We did not return to the wedding party for the following days but the party lasted until the meat and keya was gone. Although we generally consume what is placed before us, there are certain events we choose not to attend so we do not need to make that choice.
     Two or three day old unrefrigerated beef is one of those things we choose not to consume and the other is two or three day old keya that continues to bubble and ferment in 20 L jerricans.
     The wedding was a success and the brides happily married. No tears as is custom because these girls were already “old maids”, mature and very capable of managing their own homes. It was a joy to participate in a Christian celebration of marriage and our hope is that there will be many more in the years to come.

One warm cow eyeball: Science comes alive!

    We have had a great time studying human anatomy using an apologia science curriculum.   Most memorable memories will certainly include the day our goat ate half of our paper skeleton on the wall, the day our colleague (a vet) cut open the church goat that died of an unknown illness. The plastic bag and other random objects found wrapped inside gave us a clue.
    But then there was the day we dissected a cow eyeball. One of our friends got married and they slaughtered a bull. They were thrilled to donate a cow eyeball to our classroom.    
    Rolf and Joel watched as the uncle of the groom split the skull in half with precision using a cumbersome axe. After numerous precise blows to the centre of the forehead, you could see a perfect cross-section of the animal's skull and muzzle. After observing sinus hairs that ended at the eye, he extracted the eyeball.
    There are some obvious differences between the human eye and a cow eye – size is an obvious one but more unique is the cow's rectangular pupil.
    It was truly remarkable to have our colleague who is conveniently a vet, dissect it for us. We squeezed the tough optic nerve, touched the pupil, iris, rolled the lens in our fingers and played with the vitreous humour (the jelly substance in the eye).
    Normally this eyeball would have been enjoyed for its delicacies but we refrained from heating it up in the frying pan instead capturing the moments on camera. A lesson that will be remembered for a long time to come and unlike specimens saturated by smelling formaldehyde, this eyeball was still warm.

Failing with words

     There is much to say but little time. When the day comes to a close, we often fall into our beds exhausted. The heat alone is enough to take us down. In February, I was unable to share about our fantastic trip with my parents to Kenya and Tanzania and the North team meetings that followed a month later. 
     March and April brought an unrelenting intense heat unlike what we have experienced in previous ears. We lie on mattresses that continue to give off heat at the end of the day. Finally cutting a plastic water tank in half and cuddling with frozen water bottles at night brought some relief.
     I haven't written of Joel's head dive out of a tree, the number of scorpions walking our floors at night, or our dramatic hens that disrupt our classroom each time they take a break from sitting on their empty nest. Whether it is the heat or a mental mixup, our three hens have stopped laying. But they continue to play the part.
     I have failed to describe the battered women that have come to my door after their husbands have beat them and the opportunities I have to pray for them. Opportunities to speak words of hope when they feel life is no longer worth living.
     One day, I hope to write of the beauty and harshness of this land and share the burdens that we often carry for those who are broken.