Mushroom Collecting Girls

For Gumuz in Gesses, it is mushroom collecting season as there is little else to make into soup or sauce these days. Most people have finished off their beans from last season and are waiting for the okra and pumpkins to ripen. In the meantime they send out their little girls to collect mushrooms. 

I must admit I was not aware of the numerous kinds of edible mushrooms that were available in this area. Mushrooms ranging from head size to pea size with varying colors. Though we have tried a few, I must admit I prefer knowing whether the mushroom is mostly safe or entirely safe to eat. But Gumuz know their mushrooms well and fill up basketfuls while browsing through the forest.

You can imagine how surprised Rolf was one day when a mushroom collecting girl appeared at our door with a wrench in her hand. 

"Is this yours?" she asked. 

Indeed it was. She had found it 2 km away where it had fallen out of the tool kit when riding his motorcycle. 

Then a few days later, another group of mushroom collecting girls appeared at our door. "We found your tortoise. It is over there." They pointed deep into the forest past our house. 

The children raced to find the spot with them and sure enough, there was Joel's tortoise that had escaped its cage several days earlier.

We are still waiting to see whether Kalia's escaped tortoise (second time now) will be found by these highly observant mushroom collecting girls. In the meantime, mushroom soup for everyone!

What is Sister-Exchange Marriage?

One of the first Gumuz cultural practices that I learned about was sister exchange marriage. Despite seeing the challenges that Sudanese face in getting a bride, this practice seemed to trump them all. In most cases, Sudanese brides are "bought" with cows and goats in addition to a new house, clothes and houseware.

But the Gumuz practice a very complex marriage custom which requires that two men from different clans are willing to exchange sisters. Ideally both young men have sisters of approximately the same age. Ideally these sisters are also what we would deem marriageable age. (Yet we have seen on numerous occasions when this is not the case and one girl is under 12 years old.) Although the girls are at times given the right to say no, there are many times when they have no choice in the matter and are traded as if they were materials rather than girls of value.

Of course, most practices have a purpose and this one does as well. It "secures" the marriage for if one marriage fails, the other marriage is forced to separate. If one man is unhappy with his bride and beats her or sends her away, his sister will also return home so the relatives put pressure on them to live at peace. It also "secures" a potential peaceful relationship with another clan and pacifies enemies.

But like most things, sin has corrupted a potential good idea into something devastating. When a woman is unable to give birth, she is seen as useless and returned to the family within a few years. If she is returned, the other marriage (which may have already produced several children) is also broken and that wife compelled to returned to her parents as well.

If one wife is beaten by her husband, the other man is required to beat his wife, regardless of whether he is happy with her or not. If and when he refuses to do so, his family will become angry and place increasing pressure on him. Recently, this has happened to one of our Christian staff. Because his sister is unwilling to return to her husband (because she is being beaten) and because he is unwilling to beat his own wife, he is no longer allowed to live with her. It seems as though there is no way for him to continue living with his wife if his sister refuses to return to her husband.

This sister exchange marriage sounds "simple" until one asks: What if a woman births only boys and there are no sisters to exchange? Then wives must be "purchased" for 10 cows, numerous goats and other items. This becomes so costly that some men must wait many years. A woman might birth only girls in which case, they must wait for a potential suiter willing to buy them. 

A woman might birth girls first and then some boys at the end in which case the girls must wait until their brothers grow up before they can wed. I have a dear friend who has already "promised" her 5 year old son to a family who will take him for their 8 year old daughter. This allowed my friend's 18 year old daughter to marry the older brother of the other family. Sound confusing? It is.

Then polygamy enters the picture. Consider, for instance, a family with one boy with 4 sisters. He is able to trade each one of his sisters for a bride allowing him to have 4 wives without payment. If he refuses to do this, his sisters will have to wait until a man is willing to purchase them.

I don't claim to understand it fully but there are pressures and difficult decisions that believers need to make as they find themselves in situations they have no control over. What if their wife does not produce children? Will they go against their culture and keep her? What if they have unmarried sisters? Will they take a second wife in order to allow her to be married? What if their wife is taken back against their will? Pray that believers would have wisdom and that God would intercede on their behalf.

April Fool's Day - a cultural experience

We are so used to living among the Gumuz culture that it begins to feel a normal part of our life. Yet there is always this worry. Are our children experiencing enough of our home culture to be able to understand it? There are aspects of our home culture that our children don't need to accept or practice but certainly it is wise for us to teach and prepare them. And so it was...we decided we should attempt a home cultural experience.

We are not really the kind of family that plays jokes on each other. Boundaries are easily crossed and hurt feelings arise. Best to be avoided has been our general rule. But when our niece mentioned that it was April Fool's day yesterday afternoon, I thought, "It is probably wise to teach our own children something about this day and then decide the value of it." So Karissa and I spent a few minutes scheming.

After the children's company left at 5pm, I called out, "Okay let's head to the classroom for an extra hour of school. Since we are going to Addis next week, we should put in some extra time." Now I did expect complaints but I didn't expect the powerful emotions that would be brought out with such an announcement. (Keep in mind it was still 35C and our classroom is hotter!) Karissa led the way with her shoulders silently shaking. I felt like the meanest mother ever!

Two of my girls were in tears, questioning how we could do school at this hour. Karissa was busy opening windows and my son didn't step into the classroom. We announced it was April Fool's day and that it was the lesson. More tears. "But our family has never done April Fool's day.", "That was mean." Ouch. 

Lesson one was accomplished. A trick that causes stress or pain is not worth it. One should thoroughly think about the outcome. And so it was that this hour of the day was dedicated to talking about April Fool's Day. 

Well when we introduced the idea of fooling dad, it was not surprising to see the emotions immediately turn around. There was great excitement in the air. You could actually feel it. Brains were whirling and smiles all around. Isn't that exactly how it goes? It is much easier to give than receive (in this case). And so it was decided that all the furniture from the main room be moved outside onto the dirt at the side of the house. (An infestation of fleas?)

Joel ran up the hill meeting his dad saying, "Dad you got to see this! Fleas!" (A common problem.) I wasn't planning on being involved in this event but was pulled in when my dear husband called me out of the kitchen and asked what was happening and where the fleas had all come from. The kids were giggling and all I could say was "Well you said that the bug spray was expensive. We moved the furniture outside!" Then the kids yelled, "April Fool's Day!" and their gracious father threw back his head and laughed heartily. Furniture was moved back in and all was well. Lesson two....easier to give than receive. But isn't it best to play a trick without deception? Hmmm. We may need to make some rules.

A few more harmless tricks were played and it gave us plenty to talk about. And so it was. The Kruse family experienced April Fool's day and decided that we should avoid a few things. Avoid causing anger or fear. Avoid lying. Attempt to make someone laugh. Laughter is good medicine. Leave the fooling to April Fool's day. 

It was certainly a time to be remembered. At the very least, our children will be familiar with the day and not be utterly confused by such an event which is actually printed on our calendars! Hopefully they have also learned the potential harm of such a day. Possibly we might learn to "tease" each other in ways that bring laughter and not tears. It takes thought and creativity to do it well. And isn't that the way of life? Our lips are quick to speak a word that harms and it takes great intention to speak a word that builds another up.

An interesting breakfast in the village - by Joel Kruse

Our Gumuz guard, Bachunk called us to a keya party in the morning at 8am before school had started. He said, "Come to my father's house right now to drink keya." (Keya is a grain drink that Gumuz drink everyday along with their neighbours or after working together. They don't drink water. Instead, they drink keya.) So, mom, dad, Karissa, Sonia and I decided to go. Mom let me skip school but my sisters wanted to stay home.

When we arrived, we went into Bachunk's dad's house. We sat down on rocks. They washed our hands and then gave us keya in cups. They washed our hands again and served us porculaca weed that we dipped into hot spices. They said, "After you drink another cup of keya, we will give you milk." Before they served it to us, they looked into a gourd and started talking about it. They said, "What are we going to do? We said we would serve it to the guests but it is really sour. Maybe it is two or three days old." They poured it into cups but it looked like cottage cheese. It smelled like rotten eggs.

They put some in a cup and gave it to dad. He took a sip and gave it to Sonia but she didn't want any. Then she gave it to me but I didn't want it and then Mom and Karissa each took a sip. They said it tasted really bad. Then Bachunk washed his hands and he scooped chunks of the sour "cottage cheese" into his mouth. He said, "This is disgusting" but he kept on eating it. His kids said, "we could eat this everyday." Some other kids went outside and spit it out. Gumuz have just started drinking cows' milk in their homes.

Then they served us peanuts and after that nga (thick sorghum porridge) with opa stew (large ground beans with mashed porculaca). We dipped the nga into the stew but I didn't like the stew so I just ate the nga. At the end, I pretended to eat the big chunk of porridge because it is so hard and heavy that I could pick up the whole piece. We were really full but Wohiis started giving us gurshas. He fed us more nga and stew by his own hand. Karissa was giggling. 

After we were completely full, Wohiis said, "Come to my house." He got up and we followed him to his house. We were served nga and opa stew again. We couldn't finish it because we were so full. He was really happy that we ate at his house. Then we went home and we did not eat lunch until 2 o'clock. I was happy I got to eat breakfast in the village. I also only had to do an hour of school when I got home.